’Tis the Season to Prioritize Your Mental Health
The holiday season can be a bit of an emotional paradox. While we’re constantly told to relax, enjoy, and be merry, we’re also somehow expected to manage the whirlwind of stress and pressure that comes with holiday shopping, family gatherings, and finding the time and money to do it all. According to a 2015 survey from Healthline, 44% of people describe the holidays as “somewhat stressful” while 14% say they’re “very stressful.” For people with mental illnesses, this holiday stress can prompt flare-ups of anxiety or depression.
The COVID-19 pandemic adds another dimension to the despair people are feeling, as we cope with grief, loss, isolation, and sadness over all the changes the pandemic brought into our lives this year. In areas with COVID-19 cases rising and lockdowns in place, many are having to face the difficult reality of not being able to gather with loved ones this year. So, how can you navigate “the most wonderful time of the year” when you’re not feeling particularly wonderful? Here are some of our top Dos and Don’ts for taking care of your mental health over the holidays.
Exposing your Expectations
DON’T set your expectations too high! With the emotional weight of 2020 and the COVID-19 restrictions that continue to apply over the holiday season, there’s a good chance your celebrations will feel different this year. Accepting this change but acknowledging your feelings about it might help you cope. If your stress, anxiety, or depression flares up, your priority should be taking care of yourself, not trying to fabricate a cheery, picture-perfect holiday.
DO keep it simple — if things get overwhelming, focus on the little things that bring you joy during this time of year, but also in general! There’s no shame in doing something “non-festive” that will make you feel just a little bit better — whether it’s working out, sticking to your daily routine, or even just taking a break from Christmas music to listen to your favourite album. This advice can also apply to the New Year. If you’re the type that has your heart set on resolutions, setting unrealistic or lofty goals can quickly lead to further stress and anxiety in struggling to live up to them. Being realistic at this time of year can save you lots of anguish!
Fights, Festivities, and Family
DO try to diffuse family conflicts. Holiday family gatherings can come with their own brand of stress and anxiety, even if they’re taking place over Zoom this year. It’s always a good idea to have a strategy to diffuse conflict and tense situations that may arise — whether it’s a personal grievance or polar opposite opinions about current events. Even if emotions are running high, try to recognize that this might not be the time or place to have a difficult conversation. But make sure you actually do address it at a better time. Completely avoiding topics that spark conflict isn’t the way to go — you have to tackle tricky discussions sometimes! If the issue continues to weigh on you during your celebrations, initiating a private, calm conversation can be more practical than letting emotions fester and lead to a big blowup.
DON’T forget to be understanding, with others and yourself! This holiday season will be difficult for many people, including yourself and the loved ones you may be in conflict with. This may be easier said than done, but try to see another person’s point of view and understand why they’re upset, and what else may be going on in their life that can be fueling their anger. You don’t have to reach an agreement, but acknowledging another’s’ feelings can help de-escalate a tense situation. The principle of being understanding also applies to yourself. There’s truly no better time to practice self-love and cut yourself some slack — it’s been a hard year.
Spending Money Over the Holidays
Most of you by now could have bought your Christmas presents. If not, don’t worry I’m sure you’re not the only one. But while we make economic choices regarding gifts, celebrations, etc. this winter break, it’s also equally important to acknowledge the financial situation you may be in since this affects our mental health.
DO know your limits of spending and stick to budgets. The winter holidays are packed with consumerism and it’s easy to get carried away. Set strict budgets and limit your spending even if you’re not used to doing so in the past years. Overspending now could create stress and anxiety for you later when dealing with the aftermath.
DON’T feel disappointed if you’re unable to buy expensive gifts. Taking time to create and assemble meaningful gifts should be equally appreciated by family and friends.
Food and Mental Health
When I think of Christmas, New Year’s or the Winter break, my mind goes to food. Whether it’s learning how to cook or preparing a feast, this is a holiday where food is celebrated and overindulged. So this one’s a tricky topic since the holiday season is also a time where mental health, eating disorders and other body image issues arise. It’s important to highlight some points to keep in mind, whether it’s you or someone close to you feeling the impact of food on their mental health.
DO know what can trigger you in terms of food items and food-related activities (e.g. baking, cooking, drinking etc.). Then be open and talk to your family and friends, or whoever you’re spending the holidays with, about these triggers because it can help them understand what you’re going through and be supportive as required.
DO be mindful of the words, questions and phrases you use with those around you. Just as it’s important to know your triggers, it goes the other way as well.
DON’T ask triggering questions. Check out this important Instagram post that highlights some things you should not say during the holiday season when discussing food.
DON’T take extreme actions like harmful diets to your body. You know your body better than anyone else. It can be easy to get carried away with holiday diets being promoted or even on the flipside overindulging in Christmas/New Year goodies. So enjoy the food in moderation and the break while treating your body with care.
The conversation about the relationship between food and mental health deserves a brighter spotlight but I wanted to take this opportunity to acknowledge what could happen this holiday season and how to navigate difficult situations. I’m not a health expert and if you are going through any mental health issues with food, such as eating disorders here are a few resources: Ontario CMHA, Bustle — Body Image and the Holidays, and Red Cross Self-Care
Social Media
Social media can be overwhelming over the holiday season. This year it can especially prey on the loneliness aspect of mental health if given the power. With social distancing and quarantine becoming a part of our lives during a usually socially active time, we will naturally turn to social media for comfort and to fill the loneliness.
DO close your laptop or phone and completely detox from social media. If that’s the best choice for you then do it fearlessly. Others find it helpful to monitor and limit their social media usage instead of completely removing it from the device. Social media apps and your mobile OS have features to monitor your screen time but there are plenty of other apps out there that can do the trick as well.
DO take advantage of the way social media has enabled quick connections to family and friends across the world. Take some time out of your day to video call, play some games or spread some festive cheer with them to promote safe socialization and reduce loneliness for yourself.
DO use social media in a positive way by following accounts, pages and people promoting a healthy approach to the holiday festivities!
DON’T let social media stress you or create more anxiety regarding FOMO (fear-of-missing-out). There is the possibility of seeing your friends’ social media posts filled with safe and socially distanced holiday activities. If you’re like me with no similar plans, know that it’s ok to prioritise your safety and health in the way you want to without comparing with others. DON’T spend hours scrolling through social media. While social media can provide comfort or distraction, don’t use it as a tool to create more isolation for yourself.
No matter what your plans are this holiday season, we hope you’re able to find some small moments of joy amidst all of the chaos. Remember to take care of yourself — your mental and physical health come first. SMASH wishes you a safe and festive holiday season! We’ll be back with more blog posts in 2021!
By: Tanvi Srivatsa and Annemarie Cutruzzola
